Bigfoot Invades Detroit

Does Bigfoot Pack a Gun and Wear Body Armor?

Are abandoned spaces around Detroit attracting Bigfoot?
Are abandoned suburbs being invaded by curious Bigfoot looking to expand their territory?

One of the more interesting Bigfoot encounters I’ve heard is this one out of the suburbs of Detroit.  According to a report submitted to CryptoZoologyNews, a family that was house hunting in the blighted suburbs of Detroit encountered what sounds to me like a young Bigfoot coming out of a home.

If you aren’t aware, the economy in Detroit has been devastatingly bad for years now and large tracts of suburban homes stand empty, looted and burned out.  Reports of dog packs and even bears have been spotted roaming what seems like a set from a 1980’s post apocalyptic movie.  So if regular fauna is moving into the ruins of Detroit, why not Bigfoot?  Apparently at least one has been doing some exploring!

A family from in the city had spent the day out looking for houses in the suburbs, trying to avoid the crime of the city proper when they had their encounter.

“All the houses and people we used to know are long gone. Our neighborhood is not a safe place for our children anymore. So we decided to go look for a new place,” the identified as C. Brown said.

As they were driving, his wife spotted something that alarmed her.  A large hairy figure inside an abandoned home.  “I saw that thing right through the window of an abandoned house. I was shocked. I told my husband cause he was driving and couldn’t see it.”

He slowed the car, curious as to what they his wife was seeing.

Is Bigfoot investigating the ruins of our civilization?

“Hell, we were curious about it. I mean, you know, we were aware that we ain’t in no safe neighborhood, but we didn’t get out of the car or nothing. We see this hairy arm reaching out the window. I say what the hell, he gonna get cut that dude with the broken glass, man. Then a whole body coming out the window, looked like a monkey, only big damn monkey with a stick on the hand. Maybe about 7-ft tall. It had short, reddish hair. But hold on, the face was human looking, as crazy as it sounds. My wife kept telling me to drive away, so we did. I got to see the animal’s eyes and all, big and dark, with a huge head, like a triangle shape, kinda, know what I mean? Started hitting the ground with the branch or the stick or whatever it was holding. Kind of reminded me of what squirrels do with their legs when you approach them. But this was no damn squirrel,”.

Shaken, the family drove away, stunned and confused by what they had seen.

“I could see it on the mirror, he kept hitting the ground with the stick and then he walked away and couldn’t see him anymore. The kids were screaming in the backseat like crazy and my wife was trying to calm them down, man. It went on for 30 seconds or so,” the father said.

This is a really interesting case.  I’m sure Ranae Holland from the Finding Bigfoot Crew would guess that it was a miss-identified homeless guy that they startled.  But it is completely plausible that a young male Sasquatch could wander into the relatively abandoned areas of the city looking for new territory.

Two major concerns with Bigfoot moving into the suburbs of Detroit.   The first is where are they going to find body armor big enough for them, and firearms sized for their massive hands.  Stealth isn’t everything when you are pinned down by thugs with automatic weapons.

My other concern is the Weekly World News putting out stories about Pimp Bigfoot getting his stroll on running a bunch of hookers and selling crack on the streets of Detroit.

PS.  Ranae, I’m just messing with you (mostly).  I know they edit that show to make you look overly critical.


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